Our China Adoption

March 13, 2008: Happy Birthday Lili!!

2011-03-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

***i posted this NOTE on facebook yesterday, thought i would blog it***

3 years ago a child was born to a mother who did not know what to expect. A mother that possibly couldnt financially support this child. A mother who probably didnt know her child would be born with a deformatity and a facial birthmark. A mother who had to make a very hard decision the minute she met her child. that child was left behind with no family to care for them. This child will have no memory of this significant moment in her life. This child didnt know there was a family waiting , wanting her for 3 years. This child now knows what love, laughter, kissing boo-boos are about. This child is a blessing to our family in so many ways , too many to count. This child leaves such an impact on everyone they meet. This child meets with a simple HI! and a hug.

And even though there have been struggles there is no doubt that this child has sooo much love !! This child is sooo loved by their forever parents, and their 3 forever siblings. All grandparents, all aunts & uncles and all cousins.

I dont know if the birth mother thinks of this child. But if she does, i hope she feels that this child is in a great family and is so loved.

This child has become our daughter. This child is Olivia Wen-Li Conde. This child does bring us joy, smiles, tears because how sweet she is on a daily basis. This child is teaching me the Love of God, the strength of God. We are so blessed to have her as our forever daughter.

Happy Birthday Lili! We love you dearly.....

Well i guess Happy New Year!

2011-01-24T21:02:00.001-08:00

I didn't realize its been so long since i have blogged. Geez! how the time gets away from you when you are trying to figure life out.

First of all: Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a great holiday. I know we did. It was a bit overwhelming but nice to have.

Life is moving along. Busy as always; and still adjusting to the new dynamic in our family. Seems to be getting better; or at least that is what I tell myself. Lili is doing wonderful…continues to be a sweet little girl. She has learned so much and is talking so much its crazy. Just recently she started to put 3-4 word phrases together.
“I dont want to go to bed”

“Mommy, where daddy go?”

“My stomach hurts”

very impressive this little one.

She continues to mimic Leila…but i mean EVERYTHING! And at times Leila gets frustrated and i need to separate the two. Teach Lili to play with her own toys, and in her own space. Its just difficult, shes only 2.5..but its the least i can do for Leila. This did change her life around. And we really try to help in any way to ease her into it still.

As for myself: well i am getting there. Still hard; and shocking to me since its already been 4 months; but then again that is not a very long time. But we are trying……

So if any other adoptive moms out there know of any good resources pass them on! I can use a little help.

Other than the norm; work has or will be getting busier here in the next 30 days, which is great….but now the girls will be doing MDO 4 days a week. Thank goodness Lili LOVES school and they just love her to pieces there.

Well this was a really quick post to say Hi! Im still here….we are still living!

hope everyone is well…and hopefully to hear from anyone of you soon.

good night.

Ahhhhhhh!!

2010-11-22T20:39:00.000-08:00

Well every sunday we (try) really hard to go to worship in the morning. This passed weekend, we stayed out late at our twin nephews baseball game; and the two little ones stayed the night at my moms. First sleep over for lili...she did great! So next morning, i rush to pick them up and then to meet Leo with the older ones at Second Baptist. When i arrive i decided to check out the child classes for Lili's age. Well she got super excited to stay; so i thought why not. She has adjusted herself so perfect, lets give it a shot. Plus they give you a pager in case something happens, they page you, it vibrates , you go. The best part: in her class is a little boy , Gio, who belongs to a very, very super close friend of mine. That totally comforted me and Lili too. Not that they know eachother, but she saw my reaction when i saw him; which then brought comfort to her. We dropped all of our kids in their rooms and Leo & I sat through a great hour of worship just the two of us. You have no idea how much i cherished that hour. I was able to breathe a bit Ahhhhhhh!

We decided to get Lili first so we can spy on her. She was sitting in a rocking chair just rocking away. She saw us got SUPER excited ran to me and with open arms..and i just picked her up and squeezed her. The teacher told me she did wonderful! That she is so helpful, and just undeniabley super sweet. Yes that is Lili in a nutshell. SWEET!

Now i learned that we need to arrive at least 40 minutes prior to worship time to drop all 4 kids off. THey are scattered all over the place: Lili first floor; Leila second floor front of the building; Ava second floor back of the building, Noah third floor.

Its nice to be able to breathe.

Thurday's Things To Pray For:

2010-11-18T11:24:00.001-08:00

1) My patience is wearing thin. Over everything. Its eating me up; im feeling guilty, im feeling lonely (even with 4 kids) , im feeling..well not much, I am trying really hard every day to be positive and some days i succeed , some I fail. So i pray for my patience to get better

2) my anxiety to relax....its super high; which then affects #1.

3) For my kids: that they continue to grow and be such wonderful beings.

4) For my Leo: my wonderful husband who has been really patient w/ me adjusting through my own personal mess.

5) Our work: i pray that we get an answer tomorrow so we can start our clients house. We need to start like 2 weeks ago.

6) My family: every single one of them. they each are special in their own way. i love them all, and i especially thank those that i know are THERE for me when needed. You know who you are...

7) I pray for my client: i am trying to sell her house in the midst of her separation; and she just recently lost her brother in a car accident last weekend. I hope she can be strong to manage thru this diffucult time w/her boys.

#7 trumps all my issues.

Lord thank you for all your blessings and hopefully we are handling them correctly in your eyes.

Why Am I Not there Yet?

2010-11-07T18:32:00.000-08:00

Okay so its been awhile since i have sat down and wrote something down, aside from my Thursday Pray Day (which i missed this past week). Update on all kids adjustment: Noah is just plain wonderful , and well a 10 year old boy. He is SUPER sweet with Lili. Ava is also just as great with her, very playful with her and loves on her. Leila has gotten 100% better since she has stayed at home with us 3 days a week instead of being at school 5 days. They play together, Leila is teaching her lots & lots of stuff; and Lili is soaking it ALL up! Lili is her shadow....very sweet to watch.

Now i hope you dont judge me in a harsh way. I am being honest here and hopefully by writing this down; maybe this will help me grow.

This has not been easy for me. Not at all. And its not Lili. She is doing amazing! She sleeps, she eats, we are potty training successfully, she is a truly sweet soul. A very happy child.

So why is this SOOOO DANG HARD for me! I care for her, and give her all she needs food, shelter, clothing...but i am lacking in the affection department. Do i hug her ? YES, do i give her kisses? yes i do, but not as much i think i should. I just dont "FEEL" it .. yet. And it really bothers me that i am not. And it breaks my heart when i look into her eyes and knowing that. I do have days that i do full on..and i really love those .. .but then the next day I am just "there". Going through the motions..I will say this: I am Momma Bear with her 100%. I feel very, and i mean very PROTECTIVE over her..like a momma bear with her cubs; like i do with all my kids.

Its not as harsh as it sounds; believe me. But its been hard. And there is really no one to talk to that may understand me. I cant just tell anyone this ; because they wont understand. People on the outside: LOVE the idea of adoption; love Lili when they meet her, just love the whole concept and just assume it should be easy. This little person is adorable as can be so if i mention this: they will judge and be like : are you crazy? Plus i am a mommy. I love being a mommy, and i love babies, and just love kids. So again: why is this so dang hard for me to be full on? without having to think about it.

I have been with Lili EVERYDAY since we got her August 23rd; day and night. Maybe a break here & there to run to the store or do work stuff (not that often). but other than that, everyday. the weird thing is: i was great before we met her; i was great while we were in China. Then we come home; and it slowly started to change. But everyday i pray that i get there. And i know its not going to happen over night; i know that. I just hope it happens sooner than later.

She is a lovely child. She is doing great at potty training. And this was not my idea..she told me she was ready...well more like signed to me that she was. She wakes up happy everyday; loves to eat; takes her naps now with no fuss; goes to bed with no fuss; loves her brother and sisters; loves her grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles friends. And loves me and daddy. She shows us, and tells us. When Leo leaves to work; she yells to him I love you! The other day i hurt myself and she said to me Huggie: so i pick her up , she squeezes me and caresses my head; its ok momma, its ok. I just about died. Sweet, sweet child.

She is truley a child that has adjusted to our family perfectly. Its truley amazing how she literally fits our family. Her personality; her love; her whole self. It matches our family. And hopefully, we will continue to get to know one another and grow as mother and child.

Here is a video of how cute she is: Lili LOVES TO DANCE!!! She is more spanish in that department than my other kids....its funny.

Thurday's Things To Pray For:

2010-10-14T08:02:00.000-07:00

Well i have been REALLY out of POCKET since we have been home with Olivia. Lots of things have been going on , good and bad. The time is just not there anymore...not that i had ALOT to begin with, the little i did HAVE, that is completely gone. UNLESS i get up at 4am, or not go to sleep early to gain my lost sleep from before. I will figure it out.

My things to Pray for:

1) That my patience gets better with everything.
2) That Lili continues to blossom they way she is, and that we dont hinder her in any way.
3) That Leila continues to grow as a big sister for Lili. My Baby turns 5 in two weeks. (not a happy mom right now)
4) That Noah gives himself the confidence to do well in school and his sports.
5) That Ava's love for Justin Bieber goes away..JUST KIDDING. That Ava's beautiful, full of rainbow colors Personality never changes
6) For my wonderful husband: That he continues the strength he has to handle everything that i have thrown to him (not purposely) and for all the work coming up.
7) And me: Just pray for me. It would be 20 pages if i write what i need prayers for.

And most of all. Thank you Lord for helping us hurdle over the barricades that have been put in front of us. Somehow , someway YOU always "fix" it. OR give us the opportunity to fix it, and to learn from it. And i graciously appreciate that. I hope to continue to grow with you daily. I do fail at times, but i come right back.

i love my husband, i love my kids, i love my life.

2 weeks home....

2010-09-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

Well we have been two weeks home; and we are doing great. First week was a bit hard; the whole newness of Lili being home with the other three kids. Getting adjusted to school, work, and dont forget: we moved into our home just the week before we left. So we had to start unpacking, organizing and settling. that was hard for me when i had a 42" little person following me around. BUT , my sister was here that first week back, and OMGoodness she was wonderful. So very helpful with Noah, Ava, Leila, but especially helpful with Lili. They had alot of fun together.

Lili has adjusted so very well , that we are in total awe of her. She just walks around like shes been here forever. The only issue we had was the whole going to sleep deal. She hates to be put down for nap, but now i lay her on my bed, and she cries for about 5 minutes, falls asleeps, sleeps for 2 hours and wakes up SO VERY HAPPY. In the evening, she loves sleeping in her bed, and that her sister is in the next bed. We say our prayers (in spanish-so this will be interesting with Lili in time); give our kisses, and good nights. She says "i love you" to you.

Couple things about Lili:

1) She loves to leave the house and get in the car. She acts like she is fixing to ride Space Mountain (maybe its my driving? )
2) She can eat! WOW!
3) Whenever i serve each person their plate; she yells w/delight YEAH!!!! it excites her to eat and to see others get their food.
4) She signs "eat" to me when she is hungry.
5) She loves bath time..she squeals in delight.
6) She loves shoes...has to have them on.
7) She loves all her siblings.
8) She will repeat EVERYTHING that Leila says or does. Its adorable to see her grow.
9) When you take her picture, she poses. I taught her well.
10) She can NOT see a drawer in the kitchen open. She will stop in her tracks and close it.
11) Loves to give hugs & kisses....which is great for us. But not great for strangers. I love that she is very loving, but i cant let her run and kiss whoever she wants.

As i said she is doing really well. She is repeating all that Leila says, and is learning so much so fast. I just wish i knew what she was saying to me so many times. Seems/sounds like she is asking me something , and i just agree. I bet thats frustrating to her. what if she asking for a drink, and i just dont get it. She's probably thinking: this lady is not listening to me! I am thirsty darn it! At least thats my take on it.

Leila does have her hard moments needing to share "her" stuff, and not understanding Lili. But i commend her for being so good. I have decided to take Leila out of school 3 days, and keep her home with us to hang out. This way they can get to know eachother, and i can make up for lost time with Leila...she goes off to kinder next year; want to make the best of this last year.

Leo & I are adjusting pretty well having a new child, one that is dependant on you again. But its getting better day by day...thankfully.

now i am just adjusting to this new life of mine. Leo has taken over a bit of my aspect of our company, so this has left me with more "free" time. We all know its not really "free" but its "free" from working as much as I did. So now i need to keep busy with the girls. the play room floors will be done tomorrow; and i can start play dates next week. I cant wait to start doing that...Lili LOVES to play with other kids.

thats pretty much our past two weeks in a nutshell. We are all adjusting well, Lili is doing SUPER WELL. People that meet her are amazed at how social she is. I cant wait to get her out and at play dates.

Stay tuned for another Conde Family Update soon....

(i am still trying to figure out my time management)

Thurday's Things To Pray For:

2010-09-16T19:49:00.000-07:00

1. I pray that Leila will adjust to having a new sibling around. I dont want her to feel threaten; or pushed aside.
2. I pray that Leo & I continue to adjust and pull through as parents with all our kids; and that we are doing enough for Lili to know that she is loved.
3. I pray that Noah & Ava do well in school; soccer; baseball; student council; safety patrol.
4. I pray that I have the strength to be the woman i need to be on a daily basis for my husband, my kids, HIM, and be true to myself.

Thurday's Things To Pray For:

2010-09-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

1. Pray for Olivia aka Lili that she continues to adjust so well like she has been.

2. Pray for Ava who has started soccer season and has started 4th grade & has joined the Art Club.

3. Pray for Noah who will be starting baseball and has started 5th grade, and also running for Vice-Prez for Student Council

4. Pray for Leila to adjust to her new little sister.

5. Pray for Leo who has been sick since we arrived from China, and found out today that he has a terrible ear infection.

6. Pray for me: that i find the patience to deal with 4 kids; a new little one that is learning her new world surrounding her. And that i am able to juggle everything that comes with the job title: Wife, Mom, Sister, Daughter, Friend::: WOMAN.

7. And most of all: pray for those in our adoption community who are home with new babies, are in China or any other country picking up new babies; and those who are thinking of adopting. That God can pave the road for you to new adjustment & patience, or the path to giving love to a child that needs a forever family.

Beijing One More Time

2010-09-06T17:38:00.000-07:00

This was the day i was looking forward to. The last day in Beijing because that meant we were that much closer to getting home. We went to the Pearl Market one more time to do last minute shopping. Then Dinner and to bed. I have to say Lili has been doing really, really well. She is eating great, and really opening up her trust value with the both of us. She is smiling all the time; all you have to do is say: Lili, SMILE! and she will (at least when she is comfortable). But i can get her to do for the camera. Which is nice. Other than that, just want to get home to see my kids; my home; my family; my sister.

Thank you China for a wonderful trip; very exciting, exhausting, interesting to say the least; but most of all thank you for our daughter who was born in our hearts, and we traveled many miles to pick her up.

Thank you Lord!

Till the next time......well to be honest: im all China'd out for awhile :)

More Pictures

2010-08-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

Guangzhou here we are

2010-08-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

We left Chengdu yesterday, and this was Lili's first airplane ride....And she did miraculously. She slept the whole way and made it very easy for us. We arrived in the very HUMID Guangzhou. First of all, the hotel is AMAZING. It’s just a beautiful hotel, very Vegas like. The rooms are also very nice; sitting room with flat screens, great view of the city; and a second bedroom; the bath is also very super nice. Let’s just say they saved the best for last!

We were hungry; so we went to an Italian restaurant close by, and it was delicious. Comforts of home; Lili loved spaghetti. She ate two plates, then two plates of dessert and some fruit.

Lili loves to take baths and get ready for bed. We give her a soy milk bottle and lay her down. She has kicked and cried, but after turning off the lights she soon stops. This last night she started up again, Leo went to her bed, she handed him her bottle, he laid her down and she became quiet. She slept the whole night....then got up at some time and whimpered. I let her whimper and then she fell back asleep. Not so bad....

Next morning we finally had a REAL breakfast. Leo was super happy! :) We had to meet our guide to go to the medical plaza for Lili's medical review and TB test. Fortunately because we are non-Hague, she didn’t need shots. Whew! Elsie had us in there in less than 20 minutes; and it was packed! We even saw the couple from Chicago; and they had been there for over 2 hours. Crazy! Lili cried at her TB test but she was over it within a few minutes. I felt terrible for her..then we just went through the rounds of height, weight, ENT (if you can really call it that). And she did very well. Afterwards we went to the White Swan, Elsie had to meet another family there...The Nelsons. Funny thing is that May Nelson , the mom, we had met by emails about a month ago. Super nice people; their little girl is Maya, just turned 2 years old. Sweet little girl.

The rest of the afternoon we just walked around getting to the know city and tried to adjust to our dynamics. Lili is a really good girl...just quiet; she does smile, giggle and eats well. The dynamics is that all she wants is me; and won’t go to Leo. It’s frustrating and I know this is not the first time I am mentioning it....but it is hard and a bit emotional. Don’t get me wrong; I love that she is all about me, but it can be a bit hard. I can’t get a break. And Leo wishes that he can hold her, play with her, and even more for them to bond. And I know it will happen, and I know he knows that, but it’s just frustrating. He did have a moment today though. And those are the moments that show that she will come around. Hopefully sooner than later.

Tomorrow is a free day....no plans at this moment...But I am starting my countdown to go back home 5 days! Can’t wait!

Last day in Chengdu

2010-08-27T06:08:00.000-07:00

So long, farewell , Auf Wiedersehen, adieu Chengdu (in case you are wondering Sound of Music song lyrics

2010-08-27T06:05:00.000-07:00

Well Chengdu you have been one interesting city to visit for a week. Couple things we learned about Chengdu:

1) Too many people

2) No english (except Starbucks)

3) Car drivers have NO RESPECT whatsoever for other cars or even people for that matter; Whatcha Out!

4) People here like to play staring contest: That is stare at us til they fall or trip over something

5) Food is not great

6) Choice of shoes: Crocs or Heels

7) Many beautiful ladies here, they look like walking Chinese Barbies

8) SMOKERS everywhere!!!

9) Fashion sense here: Awesome! I love the fashion here, wish i would have brought extra money to go crazy shopping

10) Hotel beds: Concrete; no kidding

The best thing about CHENGDU: Our gotcha day. Receiving her was just the most amazing feeling; just like the days i gave birth to my 3 beautiful kids. Each day i look at them and I am in awe of them. Lili has had me in awe since we got her. Yesterday was great. We left to go pick up our dry cleaning , and I had her walk holding my hand..she didn't like that at all; so she cried the whole walk there and back so about 30 minutes. I'm walking holding her hand and shes crying; being stared at by EVERYONE. But then we sat down to people watch, and i told her to stop crying and that i love her ALL IN CHINESE! Oh yeah, i got some vocabulary down. And for the rest of the day walking through the markets, and the malls, and when i mean all day i mean all day...she walked with no crying. She even got over her fear of the escalators...at first she would start crying but then i just held her hand, and she saw that she was safe. She trusted.

She has had her moments with Leo..when i am not around she does go to him. He tries with her, and she cocks her head to the side, its so cute, Like telling him: not now Baba...But then later she will go to him; even if its a split second. But those are good moments.

Today we fly out to Guangzhou, and I am excited about that.First of all its the last week here in China, we are that much closer to getting home. I hope we meet other families with kids her age, so she can play with them. I hear the food is better YEAH! Some real breakfast please!

Okay and we are off! Til next time....

Signing off Chengdu: Leo, Cathy & Lili

Panda Day!

2010-08-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

First days great; third day......not so great.

2010-08-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

Well today we woke up early for our family field trip to the Panda Reserve. We were very excited to go, since pandas are a rare breed you don’t see at the Houston Zoo. We started with breakfast; and have I mentioned the breakfast here, sort of sucks. Coffee sucks, there is no omelets, no waffles, no pancakes, well no breakfast...All meats, and weird soups, and couple pastries for breakfast. So I really don’t eat much in the morning..

We get to Panda Reserve & it was the coolest thing ever. First of all the weather was cloudy, and cool. Apparently great weather for pandas....we first started at the panda nursery; there were two new babies, and they look like a naked mole rat. They literally look fake; unfortunately they wouldn’t allow us to take photos of them. Then we moved on to the baby pandas that were under a year old. They were pretty huge babies, but oh so adorable! They just have the cutest faces.....Anyways, it was really cool seeing these living fossils....they have been on our planet for over 8 million years; so they call them living fossils.

From there we went to the hotel, Lili and I took a 2 hour nap NICE! I haven’t done that in FOREVER!

Then for afternoon field trip: Chengdu is known for their silk here; so we went to a silk factory to see how it’s made. OH MY GOODNESS! They put martha stewart to shame let me tell you. It’s a team of two people; it’s hard to explain; but what I can tell you is the one person at the top that actually learns the pattern they are putting together , it takes them 5 years to learn the pattern. So that will be the only pattern they learn and do that forever. Then there is the person at the bottom who weaves in and out the silk and brings the pattern to life. I can’t even sew a button on! It was amazing to see these people in action....they have every right to charge lots of money for their work. Just amazing stuff. Then we did a little shopping at a tea house and an old Chinese antique store. These stores here have the most beautiful stuff...I want to buy everything!

Now the not so great details:

Well now, Lili doesn’t want to go to Leo at all. She starts to cry when I hand her over to him....which means she just comes right back to me. But also, she doesn’t even want to walk..she wants me to hold her. So this has taken a toll on my back and my arms. She’s tiny but she’s no light weight. Then at moments when I do make her walk, she is crying or whimpering. So by mid afternoon, tensions were high all the way around. I carried her everywhere; the only time Leo had her was when she was asleep in the car; and he carried her to our room. I feel bad because I know he feels bad...he can’t hold her to help me ; it’s a bit frustrating to him that she doesn’t want have anything to do with him now. She does accept food from him; then he had a moment later in the day in the room; I was on the computer, and she was on the bed, he just extended his arms to her, and she went to him. So he held her, hugged her, kissed her..then she wanted down. But I saw that as a huge deal....and I am sure with time it will get better and easier. (I hope). Bed time wasn’t easy....she cried for quite some time; and if you know me; you know I can tune it out. But once again, tensions got high again...these are the moments that have been hard on me and Leo. We knew it was going to be perfect forever, we knew there would be tough moments; I just hope we can get through them; with no tension. As I am writing this entry; she is in her pack n play, with her bottle, and just being quiet. I don’t want to disturb her or go lay her down....I am sure she will lay herself down like yesterday.

We have two more days here in Chengdu, and I have to say: can’t wait to leave and get to Guangzhou. This city has been extremely difficult: communication wise, food wise, not much to do wise. Very frustrating....we go to starbucks so we can talk to someone in English...gotta love starbucks to give you comforts of home.

Please pray for Olivia and her emotions. I believe this is a lot harder on her than us. Everything that we are doing is new to her. She had never been outside her orphanage; all the hustle & bustle is new to her. The noises, the people, the food. I am sure she misses her friends; she hasn’t played with anyone. That is why I want to get to Guanzgzhou and hopefully meet new families with the kids her age to play with ...get her interacting with others. I know she is bored out of her mind with us...but we are trying everything we can to keep her happy. And ourselves happy.

Olivia aka Lili : Day Two

2010-08-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

Well this little princess slept the whole night! From 830 til about 730 this
morning.... it was wonderful. This morning she was able to skype meet her Gugu (brother) and both Jie-Jie(s)..The kids were super excited, and just kept saying hello to her. She waved hello to them when i asked her too.

After that , we had breakfast, then had to meet our guide and notary to sign some papers. We had a couple of hours free time before heading to civil affairs to make it official. Signing this docs; makes her a Conde kid. And we took our first official family picture..i dont have a scanner to show you; but its cute.
There is not much to do here in Chengdu but walk, walk, walk, and shop, shop, shop....So thats what we did. We walked , got her some lollipops, shoes and an outfit. The prices here are CRAZY! CRAZY i tell you....i bought her some cute shoes for like $5, and outfit for $11. Crazy!

With all the walking she got sleepy and feel asleep in my arms in the sling I had her in. What a sweet moment. But now she is completely attached to me. I hand her over to Leo, and she starts to whimper softly...We actually had one good cry in the department store; she really cried....so I took her back. It's having a toll on my arms and back; but whatcha gonna do. Just love it and cherish it....

We also heard there was another family in the hotel next door to us....and funny thing is , we met them on the street. Really nice people; Andrea & Joe, w/their son Keenan...they are here from Chicago. We hope to have dinner this week; and spend time w/them in Guangzhou; we have whole week there. Plenty of time for us to get to know one another.

Other than that; Lili is doing wondeful...She giggles when I play with her, and
is just very, very quiet. One thing we learned is that she doesnt know how to swallow foods or drink out of cup. I believe it has something to do with her cleft l/p. But we are slowly teaching her. She does love to eat, so thats a good thing.

I am sitting here typing this, and she is in her pack n play wiht her toys, organizing her babies, and she fell asleep. So Easy! She's adorable...

I seriously cant wait to get her home to play with her siblings. She is going to be bored out of her mind with us; but we are doing our best to keep her entertained.

Tomorrow: We are off to the Panda Reserve; its the largest breeding sanctuary for pandas in China. This should be awesome!

I am exhausted..so im going to bed (9:02 pm).

And she Appeared

2010-08-23T12:47:00.000-07:00

We had been up since 5am this Monday morning.....anticipating the moment we would meet Olivia. This morning they brought us the pack n play; so we prepared that. Then we prepared the gifts to the director and nanny, and prepared her back pack of goodies. After that we spent most of the day just walking around (aimlessly) in the markets, up and down the streets, eating this, eating that. Finally the time came , we headed back to the hotel room to get ready. I didn't know what to think or feel. Neither did Leo. What is this moment going to be like? How will she react? everything running through our heads

We headed to the civil affairs office, we were there in about 20 mins. We walked in, were told to sit at a table and wait. It was an all glass entry doors, so we can see outside. Our guide went outside to the car, and out of nowhere this van pulls up in front...And there she was! Sitting in the nanny's lap on the passenger side. They opened the door, put her down. She was the tiniest thing i had seen...so adorable, so tiny. We immediately went outside to greet her. She had all her little goodies from her care package we sent her. That was touching to see. We went inside into the building, and i immediately sat on the floor to talk with her. She is very quiet; and observant. She did come to me, and sat on my lap while i talked to her, and gave her the new toys. She is beautiful! We immediately fell more in love with her.

We did all necessary signing, and then we were on our way. Just like that...she was left with us. When her nanny first told her she was leaving, she started to whimper and tears started to fall down her face. Then the water works started on me. I hated that she felt pain or loss. That she knew she wasn't going back...i just held her, hugged her, kissed her...and it calmed her down.

I love how she reacted to Leo so easily! At first she wouldn't look at him; but then she did, and then she let him hold her. And she was fine. Got back to the room to rest, and gave her new toys, and gave her first bag of gold fish. She loved them! Didn't want to share with Mama or Baba. Very cute.

Leo then decided that she needed ice cream. So off to Mcds we went for ice cream. Now if we were getting stares on the streets before; IMAGINE now with her in our arms.

To make this posting somewhat short: She is just precious. Very quiet, very smart...best part we got a giggle or two from her, and some smiles. No Joke! It was heart warming! She did great taking her bath; laid in bed watching a video, took her bottle and relaxed. She got to meet her Tia Monica over skype; that was exciting...She waved bye bye to her when we had to hang up...and shortly there after we laid down, and with in a few minutes she was asleep.

I learned that she will fit right into our family! Thank you Lord for blessing us once again with a beautiful child. Its been a long journey but oh my goodness so worth it! I will leave you with some pictures, and hopefully the video will post too. Thank you , Thank you for all your well wishes, and prayers! Please continue them all!

Hello New York!

2010-08-22T16:09:00.000-07:00

We have arrived in Chengdu. It was about a 3 hour flight from Beijing. Let me start by saying that we made a new friend right before this flight. A young lady, 19 years old, was behind me in security check, and asked me if i was flying to Chengdu, told her we were. Said wonderful, another foreigner; she was feeling lonely in her travels. So i asked her to walk with us to our gate entrance; and we started talking. I asked her where she was from, and her answer just threw me back.. She told me she was from Colombia! I got all excited, because that is where my family is from. We have a lot of family that live in Colombia. Just amazing that i am in China, and i meet someone from Colombia! She was flying to Chengdu , and she is staying here for a year to study Mandarin. We exchanged emails, and will have dinner sometime this week. Such a small world.

We were picked up by our guide Emily; who is a ball of fire. She is go-go-go! We are driven into Chengdu downtown, and it was like driving into Times Square. I had this city pegged differently. I was thinking small city, maybe very rural..complete opposite. SOOOO MANY people! There are more stores to shop at than restaurants to eat at. Or maybe we just don't what things say. But we are completely blown away with this city. We are getting a lot more stares here than in Beijing; so that's a bit odd, and at times a little uncomfortable. You see people talking about you, and looking at you all up and down, and not able to understand what the heck they are saying. So many beautiful stores, and beautiful clothes! I wish i could go shopping crazy!

We just walked around for a bit; and bought something on a stick to eat. Please don't ask me what it was; because we don't know, and i rather keep it that way..just kidding. It was very delish believe it or not. and if you know me, i don't EVER eat anything that i don't know what it is. I am really stepping out of my comfort box here; Leo is very proud of me.

Other than that; this city reminds me A LOT of New York, Times Square..I will be taking some more pictures, since we are staying here a full week.

On Monday, at about 2pm we will be taken to the civil affairs office to meet Olivia. I have not reacted much to this, i am actually calm at this point; but it could also be that its 545 am and i am writing this blog entry.

I cant believe this day is here; that 2.5 years has been passed by, and we get here in literally 9 hours. Oh my stomach just flipped!

I will start preparing her little princess back pack with goodies this morning. I wish i can just take the whole suitcase; she has so many fun stuff. But i will just bring her back and let her go crazy in the bag. Merry Christmas Baby!

**I pray that we have a nice meeting
**I pray that that she doesn't freak out TOO MUCH
**i pray that we can cry together and it brings us closer
**I pray that we don't scare her off
**I pray that we can maker her feel at ease and comfortable

Please pray for us that everything goes as smoothly as it can for us and especially for her. I know she will feel pain from leaving her only home she has ever known; the nannies she has ever known. But i hope we can show her that we are here to love her forever. And that she has so much family waiting to meet her and love on her.

Okay, i need to see if i can sleep another hour or so....Til the next

Great Wall of China & Forbidden City

2010-08-22T06:31:00.000-07:00

Pictures of Temple of Heaven

2010-08-22T06:25:00.000-07:00

Gasping for Air!

2010-08-22T06:23:00.000-07:00

Saturday was our sightseeing day , and unfortunately we had terrible, terrible weather. It rained ALL DAY!!! And the temperature dropped. So now it was COLD, WET, and RAINING. But we still had an amazing day! We visited the Forbidden City. This place was HUGE! it has over 9,000 rooms...yes you read right...9,000 rooms. Many temples, and more temples, and everything means something. Like i noticed that the thresholds at every door entry are like a foot tall. You have to take a big step over it...this was to block the evil spirits from getting in the temples. They have yellow roofs which brings richness and prosperity.

There is So much culture here, its hard to soak it all up in one day. We already said that we plan to come in the future; next time with the kids.

After the Forbidden City; our guide Cindy took us to a traditional Chinese restaurant. I was a bit nervous, since i can be a very picky eater. They gave us some green veggie to eat, which i ate. Then some steamed rice, with Kung Pao Chicken :very spicy. Then they brought us some really good beef in some red sauce..then they brought the main entree..roasted duck. A very acquired taste; not chicken , not turkey..a very weird taste..but enough to be able to eat it.

Next step:The Great Wall.It was an hour drive so i took a nap in the car; plus i had to dry up from the walking in the forbidden city. We were pretty wet. This place was heavenly amazing! I mean you see it on TV; you see it in books. But seeing the it in real life was just .. well it just left us speechless. You say i want to walk the wall, i want to climb the wall; but no one told us you had to literally kill yourself to climb or walk the wall. The steps were HUGE, and very , very steep....And so many people, and remember its raining during this whole time. We are getting soaked to our bones...i can feel my toes turning into prunes..Squish , squish every step up towards the first tower. Amazing view....sit there for a bit to catch our breath....and then step , step up to the second tower. This is extreme climbing! no joke!

We made it to the second tower....and that is where i found a nice window area in that tower, and i watched Leo climb to the very top to the other towers. Then he disappeared. He made it to the very last tower which was the 4th tower...I was so proud of him! And he was exhausted.

This place is just amazing! Took them 200 years to make it by hand. BY HAND! Its just breath-taking....never in our life did i think i would ever say: i walked the great wall of China.

After that we headed to the hotel to dry up. We were drenched!!! And we had rain coats, but our jeans, socks, shoes soaked. I passed out by 830pm....we had early flight to catch.

We are on our way to Chengdu.....Monday we meet Olivia Wen-Li.

How exciting!!!

Walk , Walk, Walk. Haggle, Haggle, Haggle

2010-08-22T06:20:00.000-07:00

Day 2 of our time in Beijing: we opted to take the free day ourselves and explore Beijing on our own. We were up pretty darn early; this time change is really odd to me....anyways. After breakfast we took a taxi to The Temple of Heaven. I describe it as a really, really big Central Park. Its just beautiful. This was a worshipping place for the Emperor of China back in the days. Every building we saw was just amazing, and just beautiful. And every few minutes: i would look at Leo, tap him on his shoulder and say...Honey: We are in CHINA!!! Can you believe it! I STILL cant. It was hot, but there was a nice breeze that would come through and it was very enjoyable. We also got stopped by a young man; that wanted to take a picture with us foreigners. So first it was with me and then one with Leo. Then he took off running...we just laughed. This place was just beautiful. They did animal sacrificing here, and prayed to the Gods for just about everything.

Now its a place for the locals, especially the elders who are retired to come here and hang out with the friends playing cards, domino's, listen to music. Others will be doing tai chi, kung fu, or just dance. We caught a couple of groups of ladies doing , what look liked to me a Chinese Tango , and another group were doing the Harlem Shuffle....or at least that's what it looked like to me.

After the market, we walked over to the Pearl Market. This place was four stories high and sold EVERYTHING you can imagine. Within 5 minutes i got a watch. But let me tell you; i am not good at haggling...i pretty much suck. Now Leo on the other hand, after two times getting started , he nailed it flat with these people. It was really funny to watch, and hear the haggling. If they didn't give in, well then we just walked away;then they go Okay , okay...make you happy. And yes were happy.

Now the pearl market is about a 25 minute taxi drive. We saw some pedicabs, and asked if they would take us to our hotel...and finally a guy said yes; but OMGOONDESS. we didn't think this very thoroughly. One good part of this; he took us through Houtong..which is a small part of the original Beijing. Back alley ways, old, old buildings, and people still living there. This was pretty neat, and well we were hoping we would be out by night fall :) . Not somewhere you want to be stuck in. We video-taped our trip and wow! I'm shocked we weren't hit by a bus on many occasions. The trip itself took an hour and like 10 minutes. Our driver was pretty exhausted. I ran into our hotel to get him some water. Never would i do it again for such a long trip, but glad we did. It was an experience.

Well Tomorrow we are off to the Great Wall & Forbidden City!

2 days closer to Olivia!!!!

BEIJING HERE WE COME!!!

2010-08-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

Wow! So we spent our last night in Houston with our entire family at my
sister in law's house for dinner; and that’s where the kids are staying the
first week. It was very emotional on ALL LEVELS! I will not go into detail,
since some of it wasn’t good, but thanks to my wonderful husband, he fixed
it and then it was perfect. Dinner was delish, and then we received just the
sweetest gift. Nana aka Susan, my SIL mom, made Olivia a quilt by hand. And
it’s just beautiful!!! Olivia is going to LOVE ON THIS FOREVER! and it was a
perfect cover for me on the plane. After dinner we went home; and I had lots
to do! Leo went to sleep, and I finished packing, and I had some work to put
in order. My mother in law showed up at 230, and I was still awake. I slept
nothing.

Our flight was at 6am...Now let me tell you a funny thing: We are at the
gate, and we see a gentleman that looks "familiar" .... well then we get on
the plane, & this man is sitting in the same row as us. He looks SOOO
familiar...so I ask him; and sure enough we have met before at baseball in
Richmond. And yes his son goes to our kids school...I mean I know it’s a
small world; but same flight, same time, same row! Really funny.

The first flight was short and good.

we were anticipating the next one. I mean its 13 hours long...on a plane.
And plane rides are not comfortable. But this was comfortable enough. Every
seat had its own TV where we can watch movies, TV shows, play games...So I
got to watch The Back Up Plan, Date Night, Bounty Hunter, and the
Joneses....and still all those movies didn’t take up the whole 13 hours. We
slept, the food was really good, surprisingly. Leo and I had to get up
couple times to walk around let the blood flow..

Finally we landed! That was just so unreal that we landed on the other side
of our globe, in Beijing. We were welcomed with gray skies, hot and
humid...humidity just like home..YUCK! The airport was HUGE and just really
pretty. Now we had our first nice encounter at baggage claim. Leo started
talking to young American guy that was waiting also. And he has lived her 6
years teaching English. So Leo started telling him why we were here, and he
was just touched by that, and Leo proceeded asking about the exchange rate:
where is best to exchange, and how much. This young man, just gave Leo $30
dollars in RBM ... to help us out...to help us get out of the hotel and not
have to exchange money there at airport. He just thought it was really amazing
that we were adopting, and just offered to help. Leo offered to give him
cash back, but he refused...Really nice guy...Pay it forward people, pay it
forward.

We get to our hotel, and we head to venture to the grocery store: we need a
converter to plug in our electronics. this was fun! The store is like a
Fiesta . Just the smells were really off, and we were the minority here...We
went to electronics department, and asked for converter and they just
looked at us like:: ummmmmm What? we tried really hard but no cigar. We
ended up walking around and we found what we needed....But it was a funny
experience....

Okay I think that’s all for now...its 2am here, and I need to try to get some
sleep to get on this time zone.

Thank you for all your well wishes....keep leaving them on the blog..I do
get all the comment via email.

I have to thank my little sister MONICA, who is my commander in chief for
blogging and facebook...Love you!!

Till tomorrow!

We are 3 days from Olivia!!!!

In the plane

Leo playing a video game on the planeAt the Beijing airport!

on our way....

2010-08-18T03:23:00.000-07:00

at the airport getting ready to board to china!i can't believe the day has arrived..im to exhausted to feel anything, but we are very excited. we miss our kids already but they are in good hands.

almost there baby girl!

Look at our rings

2010-08-14T14:52:00.000-07:00

This is how many we have now....we went from 3 long loops on the "old" fireplace to just these 4 rings on the new fireplace....

Oh we are so close!! And we have had some strainig issues literally thrown upon us in the last week. And they have laid really HEAVY on my mental state, my emotional state, which then just leaks over to my physical state. I have been at my weakest state of well being that i have been in forever. I dont remember feeling this "heavy" in quite some time. Today very slowly; after crying several times, (adn still have tears as i type), i have to let it go. I have to just throw my hands to God and be like: here you take care of this for me; i cant anymore. I trust you, and you will do right. I have faith in you. I need to rebuild my strength in the next couple days for our trip to China. Then i will have 4 days in China to continue to make it stronger, so when i get Olivia on the 23rd, i am ready for her. I dont want to disappoint her. I know she is only two, but i wonder does she ever dream of a mom, dad & family? And if so, i want to be what she dreams about. I want to hopefully fulfill what she is wanting and hoping to have in her new mommy. As i said, i dont want to disappoint her.

Okay , off to unpack some more!!!

Madness

2010-08-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

Well as you see i havent blogged in a little while (except for my prayers yesterday)..We have been super busy:

1) Being sick: yes i have been sick for what seems like FOREVER...and i am still not 100%
2) Packing: and no i dont mean packing for our trip..packing our house
3) We have moved: this past Monday we spent 8 hours with movers moving our stuff to our new home.
4) Getting this house organized for us to be able to live and prepare it for Olivia....
5) WE LEAVE IN 5 days!!!!!
6) Im anxious
7) Im not ready
8) Im excited
9) Im not ready

i have a MILLION and ones things to do and i dont know how i am going to tackle it. Plus we have hit a small roadblock , nothing we cant hurdle over, but just the timing of it all is putting a strain on us....and not sure where to turn too. But i know we will figure it out and get it all done.

I just cant believe we are only 5 days away of being closer to getting Olivia...it seems so unreal still...I cant wait to see her!

Thurday's Things To Pray For:

2010-08-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

1. I pray that i get healed fast of my sickness so i can attend to my family and husband like needed.
2. I pray that our work continues to grow for my husband. He really spreads himself thin to make things happen.
3. I pray that myself & my husband continue to open our hearts and mind to GOD; and have faith that everything that is going on right now will be fine.
4. I pray that Olivia is ready to see us in about a week.
5. I pray that i am able to get this new house we just moved into ready for the kids before we leave next Wednesday to bring Olivia home.
6. i pray for the rest of my family: We all have struggles time to time; but with God it will work out in the end.
7. Selfish prayer now: I pray for myself. That i find the strength needed to get through the next couple days with the new house; getting it ready; handling financials that need to be dealt with; then start packing for China, getting it all ready to bring Olivia home. I pray that i am able to communicate with Leo about anything that i am feeling , and that i do it the correct way.

Its coming.....

2010-07-31T11:27:00.000-07:00

Well we are down to 18 days and counting.....every night now, i have these amazing dreams. So far I have dreamt of Olivia being in my arms. I have dreamt kissing her feet; giggling wtih her. I have dreamt being in China waiting for her, looking for her. Last night , i dreamt I was in China, and what amazing scenary, and the people in my dream were really nice. Leo wasnt there with me, but apparantly was meeting me in a couple days. Maybe this is a way that God is preparing me for our trip. I dont know, but i do have to say i quite like my dreams, especially the ones w/ Olivia.

In our new ladybug group: One mom is already in China to meet her daughter; another mom leaves next week; and another mom just received her TA. I am really looking forward to our meeting in september when we will have our little ones to meet eachother . That will be a sight to see!

Olivia i think of you everyday, every thing we do, you are already included. We all talk about you, and cant wait to bring you home.

Love you.
18 days !!!

Our Itinerary....

2010-07-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

A common question i am getting lately is Why is the stay so long ? what do you do that whole time? Well here is why:::::

This is so very exciting!!! i cant wait!

Wed. August 18th : We leave Houston
Thurs. August 19th: Arrive in Beijing
Friday: August 20th: Free Day
Saturday: August 21st: TiananMen Square, Forbidden City, Great Wall of China
Sunday: August 22nd: Fly to Chengdu
Monday: August 23rd: WE GET OLIVIA IN OUR ARMS!!!!! Our older kids have first day of school! I will be crying of sadness that i miss it, but also crying for joy to see Olivia.
Tuesday: August 24th: Adoption Procedure (registration & notary)
Wednesday: August 25th: We vist YIBIN, where Olivia is from, and possibly visit orphanage (if i dont freak out)
Thursday: August 26th: Free Day
Friday: August 27th: Fly to Guangzhou
Saturday: August 28th: Medical exam for Olivia
Sunday: August 29th: Free Day
Monday: August 30th: Get medical exam results My little Leila starts school on this day......
Tuesday: August 31st: ACS appointment at 9am
Wednesday: Sept 1: Go to ACS to take Oath and sign papers
Thursday: Sept 2: Get Olivia's visa
Friday: Sept 3: We fly to Beijing
Saturday: Sept 4th: FLY BACK TO HOUSTON

I will be extremely anxious to get home to see the kids!! That is something else that i need to prepare my self for....not sure how..but i will manage.

A small glimpse to Olivia's gifts

2010-07-24T18:46:00.000-07:00

Here is a small look at everything that Olivia has waiting for her when she comes home; including those 3 in the background....

Adoption Party!

2010-07-22T22:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight was sooo special. I was given an Adoption Shower by some really wonderful , beautiful friends. Friends that are so extremely special to me. And i love them dearly, and so appreciate everything they did for me, Olivia , our family....Thank you so very much!!!

Olivia, you have so many wonderful gifts and wonderful people waiting to meet you. They are so excited to see our journey to you come to a wonderful point of pickin you up. We are anxiously awaiting these 28 days to go by.

Love you!

Oh goodness......

2010-07-21T18:34:00.001-07:00

Each day that goes by we get closer & closer, but it still feels like a decade away. On Monday, I had a great day going Olivia shopping w/ my sister in law Amy. And did we do damage!First of all, Amy was wonderful to listen to me cry, and talk, cry, cry & do some more crying. We bought her so lots of cute little outfits, toys to keep her entertained , the quilts for the beds, and a really cute pet bed to be used as a floor pillow. this was genious! i would have not done that, but Amy would :) i love it.

Today Leo and I went to get our travel shots.....that was not fun! We get there early for our 3pm appointment, to sit there and get our shots at 445, to just learn that the pharmacy forgot to send one of the shots we need, and we need to go back two more times to finish more shots. They STUNG! but the kids seemed to have enjoyed seeing mommy on the dr table get pinched.....

I am so excited about tomorrow! Tomorrow some very special friends are giving me a shower. I was not expecting this at any given moment, and they took reins and did it. And they are not just any ladies; i went to elementary school w/them throughout highschool. They all have a special place in my heart, i have memories with them all from back then. Facebook is what brought us back together , after missing out on 15 years of nothing. We all started our lives, husband, kids, work: and now we are brought back together to live out our lives with friendship. I am so happy that i have all these special ladies in my life..Im a lucky girl. I am so excited about tomorrow...

Thats all for now.....

29 days left!

Olivia here we come!

2010-07-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

I just purchased our tickets this morning to China...this just made it even more REAL! wow! in 34 days we are flying out to Beijing. We were supposed to come back on Sept 3rd, but we had to push it another day....So we return on the 4th.....17 days in China! WoW!!!!

I have to thank my brother in law & his wife, Marcelo & Amy. We have a special relationship...we have been through alot together as a family, ups & many downs throughout the years. But these passed couple of months have been just wonderful with them. And all we have every wanted. And I have to thank Olivia for making this happen. She has no idea what blessing she has brought to our family, and she is not even here yet. For our flights, they gave up lots of one pass miles for us to cover her flight from China to her new homeland. And i cant thank them enough......besides saying Thank you, and we are truley appreciative. (amy if you read this; this is about the 20th time i am saying this; you get the idea). THANK YOU!

34 days Olivia!!

Look at what we did today!!

2010-07-15T21:34:00.000-07:00

This was alot of fun and sort of weird.

Next week, a group of my friends from highschool (we reconnected several months ago on Facebook) are giving me an adoption shower. I am so excited, & today we went to the store of all stores to go register. It was very overwhelming, confusing, & lots of fun! The kids had a super fun time; fighting over the scanner, Leila got a bit scanner happy in the sippy cup, utensil department...she kept asking: Will olivia love this? i think so! lets get her some of these....Very cute!

Believe it or not; we were there for 2 hours doing this. It was exhausting!! But lots of fun....i think this was a great first step, and by going it did help me with the colors for the girls room. I have decided to do pink and chocolate brown. I love that color combo!

This little trip to the store just made it a little more real that this is really happenning; and we are sooooo close!

tomorrow 34 days!

Cant wait to see you Olivia!

Yeah!!

2010-07-13T07:45:00.001-07:00

Olivia received her package!!! I started crying...to think that our little girl is playing with the bears, has her new blanket, and most importantly saw our pictures...hopefully getting to know our faces.

It is amazing to me to send a package soooooo far away, and its a way to show her love and what she has coming!

I dont know how well I am going to do the next 37 days....Prepare, Prepare, Prepare! And hopefully keep my sanity down.

And the countdown begins!!!!

2010-07-12T15:51:00.000-07:00

And the count is on people! We have officially made it official as of today! We got the news last week that TA was approved...Then we were waiting on consulate appointment and see when we can travel. Leo and i were going back and forth on when to travel: i wanted to leave the 11th..the sooner the better , right? well he wanted to leave the 18th, due to work constraints. I felt that we could have it all done by the earlier date, but just to be safe than sorry, i went ahead and agreed to the 18th of August coming back on Sept. 3rd. Now: i am sad because i will be missing the kids first day of school. I take the traditional pics on the stairs, at their desks, walking into the school, all of it. AND this is Noah's last year in elementary school and that makes me sad i will miss that day. BUT on the other hand, on that very same day August 23rd, which will be a day ahead of the kids, is when we will get Olivia placed in our arms!!! August 23rd is the day i can lay my kisses and hugs on this little girl that i feel we have been waiting forever for! Even though we just saw her face in March.

Now here is a kicker and why postponing the trip was perfect: We leave in 38 days...okay so now i have to get ready for her, get the rooms ready, and get ready for travel. Today we received news that the house that we started building earlier this summer for us to move into, and then someone came along to buy it, they put a contract on it and all; we renewed our lease in current home. Well they have decided to NOT buy the house! So now we are moving into it again!!! And all this needs to be done in the next 38 days!!!! My sanity is out the door already! I really dont know what to feel: i feel everything and at times i feel nothing. So much going on its hard to think straight.

What i do know is that we will have our daughter in our arms AUGUST 23rd!!!!

Yeah!!!!

Great Wonderful news While on Vacation!!!

2010-07-06T12:42:00.001-07:00

So its Tuesday, and we have been in Destin now for 2 full days. We are vacationing w/family and friends. So far so good, we have been having a great time. The weather could be ALOT better, cloudy and some rain, but we are making the best of it. The most wonderful thing about today is that we got TA this morning!!!!! We are that much closer to Olivia!!! I should hear back from our agency tomorrow about giving them the two days we can travel..and the earliest we can is August 5th or August 12th. Personally due to work and all, we will need to travel August 12th; and unfortunately by doing that , that will take us into the first week of school. Which makes me sad, since i LOVE the first day of school! Walking my kids in , taking their pictures walking, sitting at their desks..And its bittersweet too, this is Noah's last year in elementary. And i will miss his first day of 5th grade. BUT, i have wonderful family that is stepping up to help us out with all of that, and i know they will be in good hands.

My stomach has been hurting and twisting all day. When i sit still and think that we are now less than 40 days from her, i get super nervous....But so excited!!

I will have more definite dates hopefully in the next day or so, they will request our consulate appointment tomorrow..

This is exciting and crazy!!!!!

We got TA!!!!!!!!!

We are almost there Olivia! Hang tight for just a little while longer!

And its off!

2010-07-01T16:04:00.000-07:00

The package is off! in the dreary rain today , but the package is off to China to be given to Olivia...it should be there by the 12th of this month. to think that in about a week, she will be holding our teddy bears , blanket and seeing our faces!!

Oh the Joy!

Care Package

2010-06-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

At first i thought, everything is moving so fast; why get a care package. So we were just going to wait. But then i got really anxious, & decided to go ahead and put it together. Nothing super special, something small, but something she can have before we get there. So we went to Target to grab a couple things to send her; we also included some bags of candy for the nannies to enjoy. We got her a big pink teddy bear, a small pink ballerina teddy bear, a blanket,a photo album with pictures of all us; and each kid wrote her a note that was placed in the box. Tomorrow the box will leave, and it will be there in approximately 15 days...Plenty of time for her to see our pictures and be familiar w/us and love on her new teddy bears. I also sent cameras in there , and hopefully they will take pictures of her with her new gifts...

Tomorrow to UPS!

Still waiting on our TA.......soon please! Pretty please! W/ a cherry on top!

Why Us?

2010-06-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

Even though we are closer to the day that will come upon us to fly all the way to China to pick up our little Olivia, there are many moments that i still can not believe we are doing this. It still seems so unreal to us. Why US? Why has this desire been implanted in our hearts to do adoption? We can have such a chaotic life at times, i mean : 3 kids (10, 8, 4) we work for ourselves, work from home and we are adding to that?really? But then i look at my kids, and i love them to the ends of the solar system as high as the heavens. We both have soooooo much love to give. I know for a fact; if we werent thinking of adoption we would have had more kids; two more goodness three for that matter. That is how much we love kids, and having a big family. And i am so glad whatever it was that was implanted in leo and myself to desire to do this was done. this is smething that just didnt come up in the last two years. No: this is something we both desired before we married, before we had our own kids. I remember when we had Noah back in 1998, we started talking about adopting again. That is when i grabbed a manilla folder, and labeled it adoption. Anything and every piece of information i found would go into that folder. And it would sit on my desk until we were told we were ready. And that folder traveled with us to each new house we had, was still there with each child we had. Until December 2007 when we knew we were ready and sent in our application. And now we are within 60 - 90 days of getting our daughter. What an amazing journey it has been! And what an amazing journey will become. This little blessing of ours has so much love coming her way. She has no clue. Aside from the five of us: she has 3 Aunts, 2 Uncles, 5 cousins, 3 grandparents, 1 great-grandmother just waiting to get their love on her. And that is not including our friends that we consider family.

Still w/ so much we have to give, i still think why us? It doesnt matter, we love her already, and we always will. And i cant wait to get my hands on her and give her besitos!

Lord: protect Olivia for the next month or so, and keep her safe & healthy! And tell her that her family is coming real soon to pick her up.

We love you Olivia.

Timeline

2010-06-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

This is the time line i hope we are on: Our LOA was submitted on June 21. Typically it can take 2-4 weeks to get TA (travel approval)..if we go on the two week wait that means that the week of July 5th (next week) we should hear about TA. Then within 48 hours of that we should have our consulate appointment set through our agency. From that point we should plan to travel within 3-4 weeks, which brings us toooooooo BEGININNG OF AUGUST!!!! HOLY MOLY! wow! that is soooo right around the corner....And the beginning of August would be perfect...The kids will still be out of school, they start school August 23. This would make it so much easier on who can watch them, and not have to deal w/homework, and extra curricular activities.

Do i do school shopping before or after?? i love school shopping! I dont want to miss out on this.

NOW: if it just happens to hit on the worse case scenario, 4 week mark to get TA, then that pushes it to know the week of July 19th...and travel time to two weeks before school starts, or there after. That is what i dont want to happen.

All i can do is pray ! And i will pray.

Also, i have been READING ALOT of blogs. And i see all these families that have rooms ready, sooooo many clothes in their closets...and i dont have any of that ready! Not one little thing: is that terrible??? I am working on the beds for the girls, need to order that like yesterday! but i have nothing else...and im sort of sad about that. And i am not sure what to do ??

I am getting opinions that i dont like: i am mean, this is a pregnancy. And i am wanting to treat it that way. When i was pregnant with all my kids, i bought EVERYTHING before they were born, furniture , clothes , shoes etc...without knowing how big or small they were going to be. And i want that same enthusiasm here. Its just work, kids, house, family: i still have to deal with all of that day to day....

All i know is that i need to get the ball rolling very very fast....

COME ON TA!!!!

Education Is Everything,

2010-06-26T13:44:00.000-07:00

Today i attended an adoption workshop provided thru an agency the Great Wall of China. I went for fun, and educational purposes. It was very informative even though i knew just about everything that was discussed. My favorite part of the whole day was the second half. They had 5 families that have adopted children from China through the special needs list. The families were there w/their children. Be Still My Heart, when you see these kids! So adorable of all ages, with all different special needs. The families talked about their experience with their kids, and there were moments i was very emotional inside. (I didnt want to cry in front of a group of strangers :) but hearing them talk just made me want to call leo and say lets get on a plane now, and we will start waiting now but in China. This waiting is very hard; especially now since we are so close ...OH how close we are...

There were other families there that are thinking about adopting, and through the special needs list. Which is such a beautiful thing to offer a child that needs a home. I also met some really nice people today, and i pray for them on their adoption journey.

And we continue to wait for our TA (travel approval).

LOA IS OFF!!!!

2010-06-17T17:07:00.000-07:00

Today with a week delay from when we received it, we sent our LOA off to our agency. Here we are signing our acceptance of Shen Wen-Li, our little Olivia. Hopefully by Monday , China will have our papers. And we should hear something mid-July about our travel time.

I can not believe that we are this close! SO close to bringing her home. What is soooo awesome is that she will be home just in time for Leila's 5th birthday, Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas...just soooo exciting.

Thank you Lord for getting us this far!

LOA!!!!!

2010-06-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

Okay i am a bit late, but better late than never.....

Last monday i received a call that our LOA (letter of acceptance) has come in. So i received it the next day by Fedex. I wanted to get the photo of the Fedex Delivery "Stork" , but he was in such a hurry, didnt give me the chance to even ask....So a picture of the envelope will do. This is the official paperwork from China saying we can adopt Olivia. We were expecting this in August. Well it came 2 months early! Then i was told that we can travel as early as end of July and/or August!!! instead of November. Can you believe that? I sure cant, but now the ball is rolling for that. So we will be submitting our paperwork this week....China should have it by the following Monday. We should be seeing our travel approval first , second week of July. We should see traveling within 4-6 weeks there in. We have to wait for our appointment at the Consulate in China. When we have that, we get our flights and plan our trip around that. This is very exciting! Its all happening so quickly and sooner than we thought. What is so exciting is that she will be home for Leila's 5th birthday & Halloween. So you can see how happy we are!

Another tidbit: Friday, June 11th, we got a call from our agency that Olivia had been hospitalized. My body went cold when i heard those words. She had a small infection on her lower right jaw. Seems like she had a small cut, scratch and it didnt heal well. So it caused an infection and mild swelling. She started to run a fever, and so they took her to hospital. She had to have minor surgery. When we got the call she had already been discharged and back at the orphanage for a week. They say she recovered just fine, no post operative care needed. Whew! So she is fine.....We have all medical records and i will be having them read and translated for us. And we are waiting on updated photos of her, and we hope to have those this week.

Hearing all this, we just want to bring her home. I dont like not being able to care for her....just a little bit more time and she will be home. It cant get here quick enough.....

Almost there baby girl....almost there!

One of the small moments i have been waiting for:

2010-05-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

I just received news from our agency, since we have our pre-approval from China, i can send Olivia a care package. I have been anticipating this moment for a very long time ! I am so excited that i now get to go do a "little"shopping for her. The agency will get me their address, and hopefully i can send her something this coming week. I also plan to send a disposable camera, and hopefully , just hopefully they will take pictures of her with her new stuff and send them to us. I know its alot to ask...but i will pray and hopefully they will do it.

So now, i have to get my thinking cap on to see what to buy her. LOL! i already know....you didnt think that i havent thought about it. I have so many ideas, but i was told to keep it small, and to also send something to her caregivers....that is one thing im not sure about....i will have to think about that....

This is just so exciting. She will actually hold or sleep with whatever we send her. It just brings me so much joy to my heart!

Olivia: real soon you will be getting a present from your forever family. I hope you cherish it, and enjoy them!

Love you! We will be there soon!!!

Introducing Shen Wen-Li also known as Olivia Wen-Li Conde!!!

2010-05-05T14:27:00.000-07:00

We received our "pre-approval" today from China.....this pre-approval states that we are now given permission to adopt her. Its not an "OFFICIAL" yet, but we need to wait 3-4 months to get that LOA from China saying it is official. I am still praying that the LOA is all on its path of being done, our agency says its uncommon for families not to get LOA, but we still need to pray.

This picture has been copied: on phone desktop, in my wallet, in our living room, on our fridge, each kid has one in their room.....and we have been looking at her since April 21. Now we are given permission to show the world. though many of you have already seen her by email, or by me personally showing you. Isn't she just ADORABLE!!!! I love her! We all do! everyone is super excited. And somewhat impatient to get her home. But patience is a virtue and we need to have it. She is just precious and she has no clue what she has waiting here in Texas for her. She will have a new home, new parents, siblings that love her so much already....and are ready to teach her everything. Leila calls her Tinkerbell and she cant quite pronounce the name: so it sounds more like LIBLIA...Leila says she will teach her ABCs, Twinkle Little Star, and she will share all her stuff.....and she is happy to be sharing a room w/her. The agency sent me recent pictures of her hair and head...,she has SOOO MUCH HAIR, and it looks so thick! She is just precious!

There she is: She is in the Sichan Province, she just turned 2 on March 13th. As of everything we have read medically , she is fine. She had a cleft lip/palate and it has been repaired; so we will look more into that when we bring her home.

This whole process is just unreal, surreal (is that the same thing?) , and just out of body. The days that we have been waiting for are here.....and i am nervous, excited, and nervous and scared. Its so sweet, i ask the kids how they feel: Noah says hes nervous, but not for himself, but for her. Says that everything will be different for her...I thought that was sweet.

I have been dying to share this photo with everyone for 2 weeks now....and here she is.

Thank you to everyone that has been asking about our adoption since day one, for everyone that has kept us in your prayers. Now i ask that you keep her in your prayers. That she is well taken care for, well fed, played with...all of that until mommy & daddy go pick her up later this year.

this is going to be a wonderful , blessed Christmas!!!

Thank you Lord for the patience you have given us, but also for making this happen at the time you felt that it was right!

Emotions!!!

2010-04-26T06:06:00.001-07:00

Excited! Nervous! Scared! Awe! everything all in one tiny ball....these are things that i am feeling all at once....and its hard to separate them. Now, while i am doing one thing with the kids, im thinking about her, and what she is doing. When im putting my kids to sleep , she is starting her day. So we all pray that she has a great day, that is well fed, loved, and attended to. Ava has her picture in her room on her wall by her bed. And its leveled just at eye level when she is bed. So before she falls asleep , Olivia is the last person she sees. Thats how she wanted it...so sweet. Leila is learning to say her name: you ask her , what is your sister's name: she says TINKBERBELL & LIB LIA.....Noah also has her picture, and is nervous. Nervous for her: everything will change for her; everything will be different for her. just as it will be for us...Im really nervous and scared...But i pray that all will be good, as long as we have God in our thoughts and in our life. He will make it all well, and will protect her.

Thank you Lord.

What A Week!! i have to keep this simple

2010-04-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

Well Trust me i would have had this blog updated on Tuesday night at 11:)) pm......But i was told i had to hold back a bit....so i am going to give teeny tiny details and some emotions...(I do have the blog post ready to publish, the original one when i can )

We got our call Tuesday night....YES! we have received our referral for our daughter....She is just precious, precious, precious!! She is 2 years old. I cant say her name , her province etc....til we receive our LOA (letter of acceptance) from China; We have pictures too...but again, cant post those till LOA in our hands. TRUST ME I want to share with everyone! i do carry the picture with me! so if you see me, ask me! Call me, email me, or Leo ! We are just super excited!!!!

We are just elated with emotions, and happiness. this whole process has been just a paper process, and our imagination of the adoption and her face. And now, its become a reality. We see her everyday, i just received pictures of her from the other day, so recent. She has grown since the last set of pics. And she is adorable. She had cleft lip/palate but it has been repaired, but obviously we will get her checked out when we bring her home , and go over it, and check for every thing else to make sure all is 100%. From her reports, vitals, photos, she looks SUPER HEALTHY.

God Works in the MOST WONDERFUL WAYS!!! On other news: The same week that we received our daughter, is the same week we are starting to build our house...So this summer new home, this fall new daughter....all in time for Christmas ! What a wonderful way to spend Christmas this year, to celebrate Jesus....and to thank them for what they have blessed us with..

Okay, thats all i can share right now, again, if you want more info, just email me.

And please pray for her...that they are caring for her, that she is being fed, loved, cared for well enough until we get there......

So much for being prepared!

2010-04-19T13:27:00.000-07:00

Well we received our letter to get finger printed last week, took Leila to the dr last Friday for a bad cough, and updated our pediatrician on our adoption, and she will be ready to review the medical file , if and when our match happens. then i needed to contact Dr. Heidi at TCH, she is international adoption specialist. So i needed to contact her too, but since we had a couple weeks til the new list came out, i had not......UNTIL TODAY!!!

Leo and i go out to a brick plant to select brick, this was out in Sealy. We head home, stop for a quick lunch, and we talked. I happen to talk about my emotions about the adoption : the nerves, the excitement, the kids, etc......we said that maybe tomorrow we can do our finger printing. We have a plan review in the AM, and we can head out that way afterwards. I leave to pick up Leila, then i meet up with him again to look at a brick on a house. I leave from there to head over to pick up the other two kids; when i get an email from our agency that they received word that a list is coming out tomorrow night!!! Tomorrow night!!! Tuesday night!!! HELLO!!! not a couple weeks...but in 24 hours! from now!

I immediately came home; called our pediatrician, got her email address. Then i called to Dr. Heidi, and talked w/them. I will be receiving an email here shortly to fill out and send back. Then we wait....I dont know if i can wait! i have to wait, but oh my goodness....Our future can completely change by tomorrow night.

We may get matched , as just we may not get matched.....its all in the LORDS hands.

thank you for blessing us to this magnitude to be able to do this.....And i trust in your timing.

Preparing

2010-04-13T19:54:00.001-07:00

We received our letter from immigration that we have to go get finger printed again.....so we shall be doing that next week.

here's the funny thing: The next list comes out first week of May. So since then i have been thinking about her daily, and envisioning our life with her. i feel that the world around me has been somewhat preparing us for this change. We have had i dont know how many lady bug sightings, (yes it can their season i dont know , but still). Also we have seen two shows where in those shows, the families had an adopted daughter from China. Undercover boss last week, had a daughter adopted there, i immediately started crying at the sight of that. Then last night we saw the movie, Did you hear about the Morgans? w/ Hugh Grant & SJP..and (MOVIE SPOILER) they adopted a little girl from China, again, i start t cry. It has been in our face , presented to ourselves since we have made this switch. I didnt think much of it, until today, i spoke to another mom, who has one bio child, one adopted child (domestic) and she is also adopting again....and i was talking w her, and she told me, the world/God is preparing you for it. He is making it very much aware to you that it will happen sooner than later. So be ready! I guess that is the plan! and let me tell you......We are soo ready!!!! We truley cant wait.

and i crave it more every day that goes by......

we are here waiting for you....all 5 of us!

Homestudy Update Complete

2010-04-06T17:48:00.000-07:00

Okay , today , Leo & I went to down town to pick up our homestudy update. The deadline extension is this Friday, so we took a drive to the immigration office to drop off; but we were told that we cant drop off, it has to go through the mail. Okay....came home and went to local postal place and sent off our home study overnight....Now we wait.........AGAIN....

Homestudy

2010-04-05T17:50:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I need to go pick up our homestudy update, and send into Immigration....It needs to be there by FRIDAY the 9th.....Im on crunch time!

We are picking names...need to get my hands on a baby name book (again). Or go to a website. We are picking a name that matches the other three....for the meantime: she is known as our CHINA BABY......at least that is what Ava calls her....its so cute!

She has been on my mind daily now.......

2010-03-31T10:03:00.000-07:00

"not a dumb question at all.....And yes even though your list is limited, the possibility still exists for you to be matched on the next posting (in 4-6 weeks) so that is something you definitely need to be prepared for."

That is the answer from my agency answering my question: Is there REALLY a chance that we can be matched at the next posting even w our limited list???? Dumb question i know.....

But it can still happen! Its all in God's hands...If he feels that in May it should be done, then the chance will be presented. OMGoodness!!!! Are you feeling what im feeling?? Well probably not, since well you are a third party in this adoption process....but if you are a woman, you know the feeling i am talking about! The only reason i asked that question to begin with is because we have been waiting now 1 year and 3 months.....waiting to get to Dec 2010-June 2011, where we would be closer to the end of the adoption...And now i am being told it CAN HAPPEN in 6 weeks! HELLO!! that is a BIG STEP!

I hope i take away from all the blogs, research that i am doing to be ready for the "call". Be composed , and be ready that we may not be matched and leave it up to God's timing.

But like my title says: "she" has been on my mind ever since daily. Everything we do now, i have her in our thoughts...thinking okay so now 4 kids. So we need a table for 6! Okay now we will need the third row and another car seat; okay flights now for 6! But i see the love that my 3 kids have right now for eachother and it just excites me that we are adding to that! We are bringing a child that will be loved by 3 siblings & parents on a daily basis. Plus the rest of our family & friends.

She has sooooooo much love waiting for her!!!!

a sign"

2010-03-27T14:33:00.000-07:00

funny thing happened today.....the boys went to work this AM, i went to TAE with the girls...

We met at home, since our homestudy update was at 1pm. The social worker, Cindy was very nice and jsut asked lots of questions. After time we took the family for a ride in the GT, and then went to the store. the boys ended up going to play golf, and us girls went to get a mani/pedi. that was alot of fun.....here is the sign: Leo sends me a text picture, and its a picture of Noah's calf w/ a lady bug on it! Now , lady bugs are a sign of good luck in the adoption community. So i was elated at receiving that picture. Plus we had not seen one in a very long time. And for it to happen on the day we did our adoption homestudy, that was pretty cool.

Its my sign that we are on the right path!

thank you Lord for that sign.

From a long time wait to a "possible" sooner wait....

2010-03-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

Well from the last posting we were still up in the air about what we were going to do. And this was our choice...As you know we have been logged in CHINA since 12-24-08 for our adoption. We were anticipating a 2 to 2.5 year wait...But now it has been brought to my attention that it could have been a 4 year wait. Why is that? Well China government can pretty much do whatever they want....well i guess all governments can. Anyways, there was a HUGE demand for China adoptions, and lets just say they dont have enough healthy babies to go around.....so that has made the wait extend longer. Well that really threw our plan out the window....In four years, Leila will be 8. I dont think in 4 years I will be still open or ready for an infant back in our life. It wasnt our plan. So what do we do? Switch countries: well we would lose all the time we have invested til now, and everything we have financially invested til now. And we would need to start completely OVER. And the first time around, it was very exhausting and time consuming. didnt really want to go down that road again. So the other option we have in talking w our agency is switch over our file to the Waiting Child List...These kids are considered special needs in China....NOW, their definition of SN is a bit different from the american definition....yes it includes what we know as special needs when it comes to down syndrome, ADD, ADHD, heart problems, developmental problems etc......BUT it also includes: a child of the age of 2 or 3 is SN due to age, child w cleft lip/palatte, which can be fixed, a scar, a birthmark, having poor eye vision, having extra toe or finger....these are on the more minimal SN side, but are still considered SN. So it took some time for Leo and I to really take this in and see if we were open to it. Our agency sent us a checklist, and it was a bit troublesome going down this list, and picking what we are comfortable with. I have been doing ALOT of reading and researching so i was very comfortable in doing this switch....I had to reinterate everything to Leo. And show him everything i have read etc.....One night we talked and we did our list. That was a HUGE STEP for us, but a very comfortable one. Today i talk to our agency to ask: Okay we sent in our checklist, what now? Well i was told today, that now we are ONE of TWO families that our agency is working with to match w/ a child on the list. AND , AND!!!! that in 4 - 6 weeks when the next posting list comes out, we can be matched!!!! Now there is no gurantee, but the thought that we may be matched just in the next 6 months was very daunting on me. I mean, i felt excitement, nervousness, elated!!! MEANING: that we can very possibly have our child in our arms by Christmas (if we get matched in may) or at least by Summer 2011, God Willing. yes it can take longer, but it can also be sooner! I firmly believe that GOD will place our child w/us, when he feels its the right time for us, and he will give us what we are capable of adjusting too.

We live in a city with one of the best medical centers in the country.
We have all our necessary resources at our fingertips.
Just like any pregnancy i had...you really dont know 100% how your child will be born, and no matter the circumstances, you love , raise, & you take care of them.

SOOOOOO!!! This Saturday we are meeting w our social worker to update our homestudy, i just received confirmation on our immigration extension from local immigration office. Then: we wait for the next posting...I was told by my agency that they will call us two days before they post the list, so we can be ready with our medical drs, etc....And said that it is an emotional rollercoaster.....since just as you can be matched, you may not be matched. So knowing myself, i will be very anxious and nervous....What comforts me is knowing that we are surrounded by family & wonderful friends!

Now i feel that we are back on track, and are moving forward......So excited!!!

Not much but i have to talk

2010-03-04T13:49:00.001-08:00

there wont be much NEW information here; but i just have to say. I am a bit nervous about the path that has been presented to us. We continue to do our homestudy update (SOON), but before then we do have to decide what we are going to do . We have to see what is best for our family and for us two being the parents. I have been looking at all the positives in this , and i have found quite a few, which they make wonderful sense to our family starting at this moment. And maybe this is just what God has planned for us. But what does scares me is the unknown. BUT i trust that GOD knows our strength and HE is the one that knows what we can truley handle. And we will talk, discuss, ponder, but utltimately HE will be the one to decide.

until next time!

DETOUR.

2010-02-26T18:04:00.000-08:00

Well this is not a happy post, but just a very frustrating post. Some major things have been brought to our attention regarding our adoption. That it may take longer than we what had anticipated. We are not the only ones going through this, but i have started our research on our options. I will not go into detail right now, but i will soon. Leo and I really need to sit down , see our options and discuss what will be the best option for our family. We still have the desire to adopt, so i do know that we will contiue to do so. Just need to see which way this path that has been put in front of us will take us.

Stay tuned.

Update Time!!!

2010-01-04T15:31:00.000-08:00

Well not much has been going on since all we are doing is waiting,. But let me say this: We have already reached our first year into our LID!!!! Can you believe that! on December 24th , 2009 was our one year anniversary, and our one year CLOSER to our baby!!!! I cant believe that has been already that long. WHICH only means that we only have a year (& half ) left to go. this is going to fly by ! Im so nervous when i sit and think about it. I also think: am i going to handle this okay??? Will i be sane? Anther child! what were we thinking!! But my heart hurts to see her, to hold her, and to just love her! And she doesnt even exist yet (probably).

When i see things for her, i tear out pictures or take notes. I imagine all the kids loving on her, and teaching her new things. We seriously cant wait!

Right now we need to update our homestudy, get re-fingerprinted, and do new background search. We need to extend our immigration status with China. this will extend it another year....and i really need to get cracking on it, it expires this month! So that is my priority right now....

I want to thank those that actually remember about our adoption and ask me how are we doing? how long the wait? that really shows that you care. Thank you!

when i have more information i will post!

Many blessings in 2010.

Love Cathy

Fears

2009-06-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

Do i have fears and concerns? Yes I do! And i know for sure that the majority of our family has more of that too, than excitement. Which is normal, i guess. Fortunately i havent heard any of it, but i know its their.

Its hard enough with 3 kids; working for ourselves, and maintaining a house. So yes i worry and think:

-What were we thinking?
-Can we do this?
-Can I do this?
-Can I handle another child while grocery shopping, while at Noah baseball games, Ava's Tae, Leila dance classes?
-Can we afford this?
-Can we afford another child?
-Will my sanity stay consistant the way it has been?
-Will we have family support like we have now?
-Will the kids adjust ?
-How about my sanity? yes i know....i already said that, but its a concern. Being a woman, wife, mom, daughter, sister, ceo, chauffer, nurse, accountant, cook, maid Can be overwhelming at times.....

So these are some of my concerns: but my answer to all this is: We can do this! God has put this in our hearts before we even had kids. We knew were going to do this, and it still "feels" right. I pray to God to think about our daughter and to bring her to us when he feels that we are ready. Leo and I are approaching this grand thing, day by day and with prayer. The kids pray about her every single night. Ava draws pictures of our family, and she already includes "china baby". Its so touching to see that they already have emotions for her and think about her. Each day that passes brings us closer to her. She is not even a glimmer or glip in someones eye right now, but we already have that connection to her. And that is God telling me , that she will be there for us.

I cant wait til the day that all five of us are on the plane to China! And i know that day will be here before we know it.

May 2009

2009-05-24T10:07:00.000-07:00

My sister had a good idea for me.....suggested that i post at least once a week here about my thoughts, concerns, fears, excitements of our adoption. I do have them, i guess i just process those feelings alone, to myself. Our life is so busy most of the time, that not even Leo & I talk about it. The kids do mention "her" from time to time, and people ask me, "hows it going"?...so then i tell them. But i dont bore them with my other feelings. I will start today with my excitement feelings.

I am excited about getting to the end of our adoption. Our log in date is DECEMBER 24, 08. Meaning that we should be finalizing it in Decemeber 24th of 2010; BUT i have to prepare myself to add more time to that date. BUT , the way i see it, we are already at May 2009, so according to our LID, we have a year and half left. We are going on 6 months that have passed already. So its exciting to see that each day that goes by we are getting closer. Exciting is having another baby in my arms. Funny thing: Yesterday we met Hsin-Nan/Travis' little baby girl Lexington Ava who is 8 weeks old. Hsin-Nan is chinese and Travis is American; and their little girl is ADORABLE!!!! I had first dibs on her, because i called it...and i didnt want to let her go. I just envisioned holding our little China doll in the future. I didnt want to hand Lexy off to anyone but i had to. The kids were like, we will have our little baby soon too mommy. And she might look like that , right? So cute! I see things at the store and i get excited to buy, but obviously its too early....Im not going to lie, i have bought art items for her room already...i am just holding off on the clothes....when we get closer i will start doing that. It will be an interesting chapter of our life when that comes to close.

Next week: Fears and Concerns (that may be a long post :) )

Beautiful Poem

2009-02-13T15:41:00.000-08:00

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other.

One you do not remember, the other you call mother.

Two different lives, shaped to make your one...One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.

One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.

One gave you up ... that's all she could do.The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me, through your fears, the age old question unanswered throughout the years...Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?

Neither, my darling neither.

Just two different kinds of love.

This was forwarded to me from a friend of my sister's. It made me just cry and cry....sums up adoption. I love this poem!

Thanks JT.

Meeting Strangers

2009-01-27T13:31:00.000-08:00

During our time in Disney, we saw alot of integrated families. It is truly a beautiful thing to see, people choosing to add ohter human beings into their family and call them their own. No matter the physical difference, but giving love and care for another person. The night of our Princess Dinner, we were sat next to a couple with their little daughter. Now this wasnt your normal family: The father and mom were White American, and their daughter was Oriental. Well of course this really touched me, i get so happy when i see other adoptees with their forever family. Now i have more guts to talk to them, so i kindly ask the father, where is your daughter from? He anwered, China. Told me they adopted her in 2006. well of course i mentioned that we are doing the same and are soo excited. He said that she has been a blessing in their lives and they live, breathe their daughter. That it was a long process, theirs not as long as ours will be,i believe their wait time was 18months. But said that truley no matter the time of wait, it is compeletely worth it. She was about Leila's age now, and funny thing is: She also had the same Snow White outfit on too. Adorable! I love meeting families that have adopted, gives me hope and strength that we will need to get through this journey....

This May Be Crazy...

2009-01-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

We have a LOOONG way to go before we get our daughter, but i cant help it when i see something cute that will be perfect for our future nursery for her. And guess why i bought these??? First of all they were on sale at Pottery Barn, secondly i havent decided on a Theme yet, i have plenty of time for that, but i thought these were too adorable to pass up. Especially since they have ladybugs on them (they are good luck in the adoption community)....I love them. So now i will take care of them, store them away until we have our new home to place them in her nursery.

We are Logged In !!!

2008-12-31T09:45:00.000-08:00

Okay this is the call/letter that we have been waiting for since we sent in our Dossier. I was hoping to have it by Christmas Day, but we didnt. BUT it was just as amazing it getting this yesterday. Our agency called and told me that we are now officially logged in China...OUR LID is Decemeber 24th, 2008!!! Christmas Eve....Okay the good news here is that now we can sit back, and patiently wait for our turn. The bad news is it can take up to 2 years to get to the next step. But that's okay. I am just happy now that each day that goes by its a day closer to our Forever Daughter. So this is a really big deal.....Think about it, it took us a year to compile and deal with our life to get the dossier together. A whole year has passed....what are 2 more years?? Nothing..it all passes in a blink of an eye. I really see this with Noah...he just turned 9 years old; someone please tell me when did that happen. We are truly excited, and now anxiously awaiting for our day to come.

We are 6 days in and only 724 days to go!!! I call it our elephant pregnancy; they carry their babies for 22 months.....

Thank you to all that ask us about our adoption, and keeping tabs with us. Its really appreciated from our family.

Love you all, and Happy New Year!!! To all a Prosperous 2009!!!

Dossier On Its Way!

2008-11-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

We have received confirmation that our dossier was sent off to China last week! This is really exciting for us after such a long time of preparing this dossier with our life in it. Its been tough, and lots of work; but it has finally paid off! Now it will be about 30 days (or less) to get our LID...and that is what we are waiting for...hopefully before Christmas we will have it.........Stay Tuned!!!!

Almost There...

2008-11-12T21:20:00.000-08:00

I received the call today, that they are preparing our dossier for delivery to China for Friday.....I am really praying it does go. And then from there it takes about 30 days for the CCAA to log us in. So i hope to have a LID (log in date) before Christmas....Almost there......

One More Fedex Package!

2008-11-04T11:20:00.001-08:00

Okay so one more fedex package to our agency, and thats it.....I think i am going crazy, but what can you do.

I should know when our package gets sent off to China by end of today......

Small Snag

2008-11-03T16:46:00.001-08:00

Okay so they received my package, and what do you know? something was missing...goodness....Apparnatly it was missing this release of information page...and i am CERTAIN that i had already done this and mailed to someone....Oh well, already taken care of and once again, Fedex to the agency...I was told this was the LAST piece so our dossier can be sent off to China......

I pray that by end of week our dossier will be off to CHINA!!!

SO EXCITING!!!

Dossier Update

2008-10-27T18:45:00.000-07:00

Well i fedex our package on Friday to our agency. Today i get an email that we forgot to sign our financial declaration page! Can you believe that?! i cant, trying so hard to get it right, and i miss signatures. So now its coming back to me to sign to send back.

Oh well, that is a minor deal...no biggie.

YEAH!! Test Results Are In!

2008-10-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

Thats it in a nutshell....everything i have been getting certified, authenticated, waiting for results, etc....OUR WHOLE LIFE ON PAPER! Looks simple & not so much paper? UMMM NO! THis was a long process and hard many times to get it done right, and quick enough....and we just received our test results from our adoption classes, and we are good to go! And today , our FEDEX package with our whole ENTIRE life in it and then some will be on its way to our agency...This is the moment i have been waiting for...getting closer to get our LID, so we can relax and sit back and wait.

I have been following a blog of another mom/family that are adopting from China, and they are there NOW picking their Lily up....it is the sweetest thing to read, and very emotional, very exciting. One day that will be us! The link is below, you should check it out....

http://ourwaitforlily.blogspot.com/

Hopefully by Thanksgiving we will have our LID!!!

Thank you Lord for giving us the patience through this first step in our journey.

Certificate Authenticated

2008-10-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

Okay my sister is a very busy young lady.....she finally had time to go to NY consulate to get my birth certificate authenticated....and i should have it tomorrow by 1030am.....we have one LAST step and that is to finish our education class. Which we plan to finish between tonight and tomorrow. And that will finish our dossier preparation.

Im so exicted! Inching our way closer to LID.

Fedex Package

2008-10-01T18:51:00.001-07:00

My birth certificate made it to the American Express Building where my sister Monica works. Now she will go get it authenticated for me and send back to me. Leo and I are working on our CD education class and that will finalize our paperchase! We send into our agency and they will send off to China to be processed......I WANT MY LID!!!!! (log in date) That is when our clock starts to tick.......

My beautiful Sister.

2008-09-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

Sent off the fedex package to my sister on Friday, so she should receive it by Tuesday. So i need to wait for that. Right now just need to compelte our education portion and we will be done with our dossier. Send it to our agency and they will send off to CHINA!!!

So close!!!

Thank you God for giving us the strength to make it this far. I look for your strength to guide us to the end of this journey that we are so excited and blessed to be on.

Cathy

If its not one thing; its another

2008-09-26T08:21:00.000-07:00

Well last night i spent about an hour going over all our documents for our dossier...I have everything in order EXCEPT for one teeny tiny deal. I have to resend my birth certificate to my sister in New York, so she can get it authenticated by the NY Chinese Consulate. If i did it myself by mail, it could take 20 days or so....well i dont want to wait that long, and plus i have a great connection up there! So I am fedexing her today, so she can complete that for me. In the meantime of waiting for that , Leo and I have to do an online education class for adoption. I am excited about this, i have been reading this book and its really interesting what they say about adopting and things that may arise...I also joined a yahoo group through our agency, where i can meet other adopting parents and keep up to date on adoption issues.

HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY!!!

2008-09-25T09:52:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my home office working, filing, listening to my i-pod...when a car pulls up in my drive way, so i await for the doorbell ring....RING! I open and it is our postal lady...she has an express mail envelope for me, and i am anxiosly awaiting practicily jumping in my flip flops! I knew it was from the embassy, but i was NERVOUS...because i wanted good news about our authentication, not bad news that something was wrong or something was missing.....she was taking FOREVER (or at least it felt that way)..Okay finally i get, i rip open and take out my originals and a receipt of what i paid....And thats it...instead of happy or nervous, i was confused...i dont get it, is all okay or not...So i put in a call to the Embassy, and spoke to a very nice young lady with limited English but she was very helpful...she asked me some questions , and still i was confused...finally she told me to look for the authentication label...and i turn the pages from the state and THERE THEY WERE!! Our paperwork is fine and authenticated!!!! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!!

Now i am seeing what the next step is...I feel nervous...why? excited that we are one step closer!! Even though i know its a long, (very long wait) it still aches my heart with joy that we are on our way to our daughter......

A Special Gift.

2008-09-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

Its been known that ladybugs are a good luck charm. Well in the adoption community it also means good luck. Apparently several years ago, just when international adoption was taking off, one fall there was a huge population growth of Ladybugs. So now this is to be thought of a good luck charm for all adopting families.

So this brings me to my day today. As many of you know i was sick today, and someone close to me really brightened up my day and made me feel WONDERFUL. My sister in law, Christy, came by to drop off her and Dennis' ipod so i can load it up withe music. She also handed me a wrapped little gift. She said that it was something she saw and just had to get it for us...i opened the gift and started to cry...I couldn't hug or even give her a kiss, since i was sick...but i wanted to give a big squeeze.....This is what she gave us...

A lady bug money bank....She said at sometime we can start saving change for college for our "forever daughter". I was completely over whelmed with such happiness, it really touched my heart that she did this and thought about our daughter. Something that we have been working on for A VERY LONG TIME, and i have to admit time passes and we don't get asked much about it, which is fine...just makes these moments like Christy gave to me , so much more special. She has no idea what this ladybug and her heart did for me today, and for my connection with our adoption. AND ON TOP OF THAT: her generosity continues: She was planning (and has even purchased things) to decorate my niece Addie's room with ladybugs, she actually said that she was not going to anymore, because she figured that i would want to decorate our future nursery in ladybugs. I was taken back...i told her not to do that, but she insisted.....She has the heart of gold. I am very blessed to have her in our life; love her, the girls, and Dennis.

I had to share that....

good night.

Dossier Update

2008-09-23T15:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, well its not the best of news but its not the worse of news. The Chinese Embassy is still without power due to Hurrican Ike. So of course the 2 week turnaround time is out the window until they get power...I believe we will be fine: none of the documents can be over 6 months old, and they need to be within a year old before they hit China. So i feel that we are fine, if we just have a little patience.

You know what does bother me? I call the Embassy, and just asking questions, and the lady gets rude with me..not helpful whatsoever....and i tell her how important this is to us, and she doesnt care. NOT THAT she has to care, but you know what, be a little nice about it, no need to be rude. Finally i think she was fed up with me, and passed me to someone else, that just gave me an extension to call tomorrow and talk to Mister Lee, his is in charge of authentication. Now was that so hard for her to do? Anyways.....

So we wait................